>Sometimes I wonder if this fight will cause more harm than good for her.
I question whether there’s any truth or not in my perception that the things I might have to do will be for the best. I’m not sure if I have enough faith in God for me to believe he’ll pull me through all this. Then I really start to think about all the things I’ve said my whole life.
I believe in free speech. I think exposure to certain evils is a good thing for everyone. If one is sheltered from the harshness of this world, he or she will be that much less prepared when they are faced with it in an unavoidable circumstance in real life. Take, for instance, a frequently-debated argument like violence on TV. Some say it shouldn’t be there, others say it should. I have always been with the latter of these two – and still am. People will always express themselves, be it via the television or firsthand word of mouth … there’s nothing anyone can do to stop that. At least when young people see it on television, it’s a sort of neutral situation, one where nothing immediately bad can become of it. They can work their way into realizing it surrounds us, that it takes place. It is the role of parents, I have always said, to not hide this reality from their children, but to teach them that it is not right in certain situations … blocking them from seeing it in a vain attempt to make them unaware that it occurs in this world will ultimately cause more harm than good, since they’re going to see it sooner or later. The key is to teach your children right from wrong – not to exhibit just one way of fairy-tale life and lead them to believe that is how the world works.
The world is cruel and warm. It is sad and blissful. It is both sides of a coin … these are the things I want my children to know.
But how will they hear this if I don’t fight for the right to tell them?
What message do we hear when all we feel is sight? Will we know there’s more at stake in life than what people see with their eyes? Can’t we hear the world – or is it only the glimmer or what sparkles which makes us strive for a greatness we can only experience through the support of others? Why be a doll?
I’ve been thinking about hearing. There are lots of things to hear, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a harmonious hand. If you crouch suddenly on a bank to listen to the slapping of the water and are rewarded by the sound of a muskrat paddling from its den, will you count that collection of sounds a chip of copper only and go your rueful way?
She has eyes, my daughter … and her sense of tastes works quite fine. She can touch the skin of a kiwi fruit and loves it for its quills. I’ve taught her to know the exhaust of an SUV smells like danger, the fact that she knows this is brilliant. These soft senses of hers work necessarily, but without stimulating that which makes her who she is … her mind. They are mere robots of mechanical function.
The sound of water is the first thing her senses picked up. While she swam in embryonic fluid, she did not feel it, nor did she taste or catch the scent it. Her eyes had not begun to function. Sound has always been around her, like it has for us all, and she has no way to stop it from coming in, again, like us all.
The music of a waterfall is more beautiful than the sight of a pearl. A second’s worth of the rhythmic trumming of raindrops will always be more soothing than a gaze of a sunset. Everyone falls asleep with their eyes closed, but no one can without their ears open. How soon we forget these things …
See? There are many things I wish to teach you, infinite I hope to express in the period of time which our time hear on Earth overlaps. You can always see whatever you want to view, but you can never stop what you don’t want to hear.
To teach her these things is worth the fight.