>Patriot Act

>Last week, Sirbikesalot.com brought a letter to the editor that someone had submitted to The Star News (Wilmington’s paper) to my attention. Well, it wasn’t specifically done for my benefit, but that of his entire readership … minor detail. It was in response to the paper’s then-recent story on River Road and what a haven it is for area bicyclists (which it really is in case you’ve never heard me praise it as such before). It’s about 15 miles of smooth, unpotholed and uninterrupted pavement via a wide-the-fuck-open shoulder that is clearly labeled as a bike lane.* However, some folks in the Wilmington area apparently have a problem with this and a few – like this Mike Curry fellow whose letter is below – have the nerve to voice their self-centered opinion on the subject.

EDITOR: I just had to chuckle. My wife and I rented a house in The Cape development while our home in Leland was under construction. We traveled River Road daily, and encountered hundreds of bicyclists in our travels.

A majority did not use the bike path and endangered themselves and the motoring public by their actions. We made comment to each other and others in the area about this situation.

Then comes your article on bikers and how they enjoy the River Road corridor because of the lack of stop signs and the bike path, which as they state provides for the safety of the bikers.

Well, look at the pictures with (a recent Star-News story). The folks you interview are not in the bike path. …

A picture speaks a thousand words. What a bunch of hypocrites.

Mike Curry

This is the picture that ran in the Star News’ original story that he is referring to.

Can you see anyone not in the lane? Neither can I. Initially, I got pissed and thought about what a douche bag he is for taking the time to send that in to the paper. I mean, by the sound of it, he is all that I’ve grown to despise about this area. He admitted to staying at The Cape, which is one of the many housing developments that has begun to pollute the scenic River Road, while his new house was being built in Leland. Guess what – I’m not 100 percent sure on this, but chances are a region of natural landscape was axed to make room for it. There isn’t too much land that comes previously paved in Leland, so I’m going to bet he called up his little real estate buddy – probably Adam Sosne – and went to work on getting rid of even more forest around here. These two factors – that he’s A)staying in a development on River Road and B)got such a great freaking life that the only thing he can think of to pass the time is to write a moronic letter that’ll make motorists even more convinced that all cyclists are on kamikazee missions equate to the fact that Mike Curry’s already a dickwad in my book. Then, he has the nerve to criticize people for riding their bikes, implying that cars are the only thing that should be on the roads – the very same attitude that drives me nuts about this town. This is hard to understand if you’re not familiar with Wilmington, but take my word for it … as a cyclist, if you can’t ride your bike on River Road, you can’t ride it anywhere in Hugh McCrae’s shit hole (Wilmington).

I gathered myself, drafted a fireball to shoot back at the guy, and sent it in to the paper. Here’s what ran today, though believe me, a lot was taken out.

Oh, too bad

EDITOR: A recent letter writer said that while he and his wife rented a house in The Cape, which left them traveling River Road daily, they “encountered hundreds of bicyclists” in their travels, many of whom did not use the bike path. …

I sincerely hope (the writer) was not driving the couple’s vehicle (an SUV, may I presume?) during any of these run-ins with the devilish bicyclists …, for he is obviously blind.

Was he looking at the same picture from the Star-News I was?

His letter outlining what can be described as no less than a pure disturbance to the residents of The Cape prompted me to go back and look at the photo and, again, I saw precisely zero of the seven bicyclists not in the designated lane.

Oh, OK, there’s that one rebel who’s touching the white line toward the back. …

As an avid bicyclist who frequently utilizes River Road for its value to nature instead of land developers (for now, anyway, but give it time), I am truly sorry (he was) forced into such traumatizing instances of steering wheel-gripping stress and hope it did not spoil (his) stay at The Cape.

I will make it a point to try much harder next time. …
(the letter ends here)

Mike Curry, if you are by chance reading these words (though I doubt you are just because I kind of do believe the part in my letter about you being blind), let this be a lesson to you. In fact, for all of you development-dwelling, SUV-driving, cyclist-hating nimrods reading this, take heed of what I am about to say. People you see on road bikes are not homeless drunks with psychotic disorders, they are generally highly intelligent and often very successful, affluent members of not just the local community, but society in general. In other words, we will fuck you up if given the chance. I welcome challenges like Mike Curry’s since it really levels out the playing field. By writing something in the paper instead of just yelling “hippie” or barking like a dog out his car window as he passed by on River Road, I get the chance to respond. If he has anything more to say, I’ll be happy to publicly make him feel even more retarded.

*At this point in the blog, I had to get up and poop … I’ve got this thing where whenever I get excited about something, as I am now, I instantly have to deliver a nine-pound brown baby out of my anus. The same thing happens when I’m in Wal Mart looking at stuff I want. If I’m in the domestic or stationary section, I’m fine, but as soon as I migrate to the bike aisle or hardware section, I have to poop. Does anyone know why this occurs?

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