>Welcome back, Justin

>Got this here fancy computer for Christmas.

Enter: Apachepilgrims.

Actually, it’s a re-entry. Apachepilgrims – which was named after nothing in particular, I swear – has been around for hundreds of days. Maybe even a thousand.
That being said, I’m happy to have the bullshit out of the way. No more nice stuff. From here on out, I’ll make my best attempt to rekindle my nightly blogging about things that are going to make you mad … things that make me mad.

It is my sincerest hope my take will make you even madder and trigger a fit of rage, otherwise known as a coherent thought process, albeit one of negative origins (but who the Hell cares), which is my ultimate goal with this.

In tonight’s lesson, we will discuss kids who act like nincompoops in public places and their parents – how one makes the other much worse. It’s not going to be much of a discussion, either. I’ll offer my opinion and we’ll end on that note.

You have the comment section to yourself on this one. If you’re lucky, I’ll take a gander at it.

Christmas is finally over. Now we normal people can have Wal-Mart back. The past several months seem to have been cest pools for renegade children, these beloved Wal-Marts, K-Marts and adult shops (just kidding – I don’t shop at K-Mart), with 3, 5 and 19-year-old youngsters hanging out of Mom’s shopping cart grabbing crap off the shelves, crying and causing general nuisances. I’m fine with this going on because, hey, we’ve all been there and know there’s not a whole lot that can be done to keep a kid quiet in public places.

But there’s a very good way of not spoiling other people’s shopping experience: get the wretched twit out of the store. Are you listening, Southerners?

Don’t buy them crap to pacify them, don’t give them toys to occupy their time in the cart (this will only lead to a meltdown when you take it away at the register). Jesus still hates your kid.

Instead of tryiong to buy a smile, remove the spawn of Satan from the element by getting him or her (the one with the 666 under their hair) out of the public area and into a place fit to deliver a beating.

The same ideology can be applied to restaurant conduct. We all think it’s very Dr. Phil-like and wonderfully noble that you’ve decided to “stand your ground” and not send the message that crying and carrying on gets them what they want, but hey, lots of other people came to enjoy Wal-Mart and the Chinese buffet, too. Making your kids “better” is making other people worse.

Including me.

Plus, while it is true that standing ground may let the kid know crying is not an okay attention-getter, there’s a more important lesson toddlers need to know that gets overlooked by doing this: how to behave in public.

Here you go. Work on teaching the fruits of your loins non-neanderthals and otherwise civilized members of society don’t cry, throw things or act like shitheads in the store or in eateries, and guess what? You won’t have to worry about “standing your ground.”

Shoplift a roll of duct tape the next time your kid throws a department store tantrum. Get the name brand stuff, since it works better and the price doesn’t make a difference to a shoplifter anyway. Take your child into the bathroom, tape ‘em like a snow angel to the inside of a stall door and give ‘em a good speakin’ to. Their present actions? Intolerable. Their future actions? Tolerable – or they’re going to get their clock cleaned.

(There are different ways of delivering your message, but they take longer and call for more effort. Just go with this one.)

It’s pretty damn simple if you ask me. Parents are the reason toddlers evolve into shithead elementary students who mutate into disrepsectful high school students who go on to make the world a crappier place by sucking welfare, etc. The key is to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.

The future for mankind is what one has to consider the next time he or she sees a child acting out of hand in public and the parent not taking action. Do you want Medicaid when you’re older or would you like to pay for this future shit-for-brains’ Medicare?

Imposing a sort of tax on bad parents isn’t a terrible idea, if you ask me. It would compensate for the future keifings of the system made by their kids down the road. Since the parents are the ones directly responsible for letting the kids end up like creatants, they should be held responsible. The parents should be held accountable.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Have something to say? Let's hear it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s