So while waiting for a cheesecake to finish baking at 2:30 a.m. Thanksgiving Day, I decide to see what’s on the ol’ TV. I find Glenn Beck. He’s on the Fox News Channel.

Within 120 seconds, I came up with this blog.

In case you haven’t noticed, Beck’s got a thing for terror. He loves it. It’s his best weapon, and what’s keeping his falling ratings alive.

For instance, during his closing message (so disappointed I missed his show), he said he hopes Al-Qaeda doesn’t attack U.S. monuments (the ones in Washington, D.C., he used as an example) over Thanksgiving.

That’s not going to happen, Glenn, and you know it. Do you really think Al-Qaedian army’s going to mount up in one of the helicopters Russia left in Afghanistan in the 1980s and just cruise on into our airspace? There are logistics to this, Glenn, and you either haven’t thought them through or you’re banking on your viewership consisting of redneck dumb asses who believe everything you say.

Although I hate to say it, Beck’s too intelligent (yep, I just said it) for the first choice. Ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching … thank you red staters, says Glenn Beck. He’s making millions off of people’s naivety.

It’s appropriate he’s been relegated to the Fox News Channel from CNN. He’s spent his entire alleged career doing what they’ve been doing all along – profiting off the Wal-Mart-worshipping TV nation … the people who think newspapers – that is, those crazy word-riddled pieces of paper that ask people to read – are all liberal.

Anyway, more about Fox News: I saw tonight it’s offering college students scholarships and the chance to get tips from all its movie star broadcasters (or whatever the term is for the little bastards who attribute shit to unnamed sources). That’s interesting.

See, if I’m a broadcast journalism college professor and I’m teaching my students that Fox News is anything but EXACTLY what journalism isn’t, I need to be fired. Students, in turn, should be treating the opportunity to learn anything from Fox News as poisoned fruit.

I’d feel more comfortable with Christopher Reeves teaching me how to run a marathon.

And that’s that. Ya know, there once was a time when I was concerned about “the wussification of America.” I wrote a paper on it at some point in college, and it was very good, according to the professor who read it. But I call it garbage these days – a time since people began considering Fox News a legitimate medium.

If I had to do it over again, I’d write a paper on “the dumbification of America.”

Good night, folks.

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